Well i know this is a little late to post something about my birthday but I really want to say something about it.

First of all, this is the last teen year I'll ever have. Although I didn't really celebrate it, but I will remember this year all of my days. The fact that it's the last year that I will still be called a teen makes me feel really nervous. I guess it's beacause I started getting comments about being an adult and carrying out duties and responsibilities which I might not be able to enjoy doing it.....

Plus, it's the last year for me before I start going out into the world of work. Although I have no idea what the future holds for me or what God has planned for me, I still want to cherish this last year of freedom from work. I've heard alot of comments about work, that it's hard and it takes the leisure time out of you (busy)...

On the other hand, I feel glad that next year I will be able to find a job and finally be able to go out shopping for those dresses and shoes that I've found and die for... =D

It's funny that when your 19, you just feel a tinge of difference in you. When I was a little girl, I also looked on the elder girls in my life and wondered what was it like to be their age. Like do they feel different or not... I guess now I know... It's also funny that when you reach the age of near adulthood, you realize that you're not a kid anymore and you can't say " I'm still young" as in a kid...or when it comes to 'relationships', it's not wrong to find somebody? Well not that I want someone right now, it just feels weird...seriously it does!

On the last night before 12 that 23rd of August 2009, I felt excited and anxious... and sad as well. Sad because I'm unable to celebrate it properly with my family and friends... I wish i could have a party and have a countdown... oh wells....

But yeah, I always believed that each birthday, God always gave me a gift that no one can give... I got them after a few days...it was good.... my grades for As was shocking because I never expected to get a B for History nor a C for Sociology.... funny how i got Ds in my ELIT and EAS.... Oh wells......But I thank GOd though.....

I'm really glad that I spent time with Mich,Blessy,Em,Joycie,Matt and Nick. And all the birthday wishes from friends i never expected that I would recieve from....sad i couldn't reply them because I only had 6cents in my mobile at that time....hahahha......

But yeah, overall, I praise GOd that I'm able to give praise for another year! I still believe that in each birthdays....there's magic! Godly magic i mean....=)

Darling Rach,

I can still remember the first time i met you and that was at L.I.F.E camp 2006. =) Hehehe sorry for the late post but yeah only have the time to post it now. Yeah, thanks for not forgetting me and inviting me to your birthday. =)

Blessy dearest,


It's been three or four years since the day you saw me on Easter Friday in my pontianak long hair. XD Love, it's no sine seeing you grow and growing with you as well =).
Happy that you really had a good surprise! hahahah i will remember this day till i die.

The things i want to say
The things i want to do
The dreams i want to make come true
Are just in my head

I try so hard to explain
each thought
but words come out
that's not...

I can't find myself in this
My life feels blank and stiff
I can't find my way out
Where can i go right now...


Death,life,death

Can i leave soon?

The scare the years ahead brings
My family and my friends
What is going to happen?

The end is near I fear.
I'm losing my mind right now
Don't know, need help.

He feels distant
I tell myself
Life is not all about you
nor is it about feelings
It's about being someone,
to help someone,
bring back someone

before it's too late.

Can't figure this out
the white and the black
before clear
now gray

No one cares these days
they try but do they?

I wished i cared.