I thought i was going to be super fried by my teacher because holiday was one day away and i still haven't done my homework which requires me to accomplish in two weeks. Then the news came, another week of holiday extended. Good news for my assignment but not good news for me because i'm given work at home to help my bro with his maths and knowing me and maths, we don't go so well in history. It's prssurizing me even more since i have to finish my assignments and do some house work like doing the laundry (hand wash) and cleaning the bedroom. I guess that's what parents become when they see their daughter who's turning 19 sitting around at home or going out too much everyday. (breaths in deeply)

I just wish that this person which is me, is capable of multitasking and you know smart enough to teach her bro with maths. That she can take house duties and carry them out fast with a very merry heart. That she can take her mom's cold poignant comments in a postive way and do what she wants her to do. That she could find a job soon after the exam and get a better house for her family and get her own room to sleep in.

The stress that I'm facing right now is something most people would or would not understand because of my limited vocabulary. I don't know whether i could find someone who understands me the way i want them to but yeah, it's hard and i also wonder whether i will find that "someone" here in Brunei. Judging from what i see now, there's a small chance that that would happen. I need someone who can speak out the words that i want to say and not think about whether it makes sense or not. I need someone who can take my emotional times and understand me without me explaining word for word.

I need someone who can make me smile when i look worried or when i'm on the verge of breaking down. I need someone who can lend me his shoulder when i feel really low.

I want a guy friend that can make me understand the world of guys. I know i'm not ready to go into any relationship, i just want a companion. There won't be any space for mushynesss or any lovey dovey, just pure friendsip.

All these are just fantasy, none will come true.